Disclaimer: I am not a book critic, but I am critical. Also, this is my blog so I will say what I want.
Ok. I am a sucker for memoirs. I don’t care who they are by, whether it is someone famous or someone I have never heard of. I’ve read memoirs by actresses, comedians, sports figures, etc. Some I enjoy, some I do not.
I recently picked up Brandi Glanville’s memoir entitled Drinking and Tweeting. At first the name didn’t ring a bell so I flipped the book around to read the back and gleaned the information I needed: Eddie Cibrian’s ex, now a cast member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Ok. Now I remember the whole Eddie/LeAnn Rimes affair and subsequent marriage. I’ll take it!
It’s an easy read, entertaining in that breezy Hollyweird kind of way. I liked Brandi, despite my hatred for the Real Housewives franchise. I genuinely did feel for her over the affair and dissolution of her marriage. Cheaters suck and being cheated on sucks and that is a fact.
But then I read that her parents co-signed on a $1200 a month Range Rover for her after the split. Say what? Look, I understand the need for a dependable vehicle to transport your kids back and forth to school, sports, etc. and to get to work, but I take issue with any car payment that is $1200 a month. That is my rent! What the hell is wrong with getting a Toyota or a Honda or even a Volkswagen (still got that foreign appeal rich people like)?
Then came the $12,000 vaginal rejuvenation. At this point I had to put the book down and walk away for a second. Here’s the thing. I don’t know what Brandi’s vag looked like prior to her surgery. I don’t know if there were flapping lady bits dangling about or if things were hanging low or sagging and bagging. That is her private business. But the reason she gave for having the surgery in the first place floored me.
She wanted a vagina that Eddie had never, ahem, had access to.
She does realize, I hope, that the vagina was not replaced, just given the equivalent of a tummy tuck. It’s not really a new vagina.
I have no idea what her ex husband pays in child support but I am assuming it is more than the average dad. In addition, Brandi earns $125,000 per season of RHOBH. By Hollywood standards that may not be much, but from where I stand, I’d be psyched to see that kind of money.
How on earth is this a struggle?
This woman does not know the meaning of struggling.
Struggling is being out of work in a shitty economy and collecting unemployment.
Struggling is putting food on the table for you family.
Struggling is trying not to have a major panic attack whenever life throws a little curveball (car repairs, house repairs, illness, DEATH).
Struggling is eking out a living on minimum wage.
It is decidedly NOT having to drive a luxury automobile, dress up and party with friends and having an elective plastic surgery on your lady parts! Nor is it earning $125,000 to be on a silly, trivial show about spoiled women.
By the time I finished the book, I was beginning to think this woman was a big pain in the ass.
Too much rehashing of her divorce, how much she hates LeAnn, what a bad actor her ex was, etc. She claims to have moved on, but the tone of the book says otherwise.
Honey, you lost me at Vagina.